Community

Everywhere I look I see evidence of the fact that we are made for community. Whether it's fans at a baseball game, friends in a tv show, or random people at jury duty we are made to do life together. The thing is... We're not meant just to do life with other people... How do I know this? Because the best, most fulfilling community is found in a healthy church. You see people always gather around something, there is something that draws them together... Sometimes it's similar interests, sometimes it's heartbreak or pain, and sometimes it's God.(the cool thing is God is a big God and most of the time it's Him without us knowing it).

Tonight was our small group expo at church. I was overwhelmed at the feeling of community, of belonging, of peace. It makes worship richer, communion more palpable, and my heart more open to receive all God has. I was looking around at the end of worship and I couldn't stop the tears of joy... So many people from all different walks of life and from all different seasons of life. There's the guerras and peases right next to the kalers and soon to be peoples :) I love it!!! The overwhelming thought of Who was bringing all of us together, of the beauty of a King who draws all of us to Him... Powerful and awe inspiring.

It's late and I don't know if this is really making sense. I simply couldn't stop thinking about the wonder of a God who creates us this way and then fulfills His creation for perfect community is found in Him..


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"I'm letting go of the life I planned for me and my dreams, losing control of my destiny, it feels like I'm falling and that's what it's like to believe, it feels like I'm falling and this is the life for me..."

So excited about all God is doing and learning to trust and delight in Him :)

Grief

There have been a couple of situations in the past few weeks where I have come face to face with grief, my own and that of a friend.

I've learned I'm not very good at dealing with grief. My first thought is always, "this isn't how it's supposed to be!" (As if I'm all-knowing of every situation.) Now sometimes this thought is true. God has placed eternity in our hearts... Death was never a part of the plan and in some ways death isn't how it's supposed to be.

But then there's the pride in me that thinks I know how things are supposed to be, my stubborn will that says "Lord, I know better than You" or maybe worse: "how can you work this together for good?" questioning His sovereignty or ability to do things in my life is never a good thing and definitely never peaceful.

Then there's just the sadness. What do you do when you experience loss? Especially when you know and trust the character of God? Somehow there is joy in the midst of sadness but sometimes that makes for a weird mix of emotion.


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Location:Dallas

Long Time

My life is pretty much amazing right now. I like beginning blogs that way. This time it's not amazing because I'm in a foreign country seeing age-old monuments to man, it's amazing because I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I love my job, I love my new friends, I love my apartment... I love a lot of things and for real too, not that wishy-washy I really like this right now... the deep everything-feels-right type of love. I didn't know life could be like this and I know there are seasons, but I am sure glad to be out of that last one and in this one. :) God is always good and faithful but sometimes those facts are easier to ackowledge.
Take this week for instance. Last week was insane as a side-note. Monday morning, I accidentally sleep through all my alarms and wake up just in time to get dressed and get to work. Normally, that would be stressful but not really this time. I get to work and do a few things then realize I don't have a ton to do, kinda nice. Then Pastor Derrick calls to ask me to do a few things and inform me that Vanessa and I get Tuesday off and they're sending us to the spa... what?!? I have the best job ever, not only do I get to see women set free on a Victory Weekend, I get sent to the spa for doing it!!! Somewhat ridiculous but hey, I'll take it. :) Then Cassandra and I are emailing back and forth and she invites me over to dinner. Seriously, my week was off to the most amazing start ever.
Dinner was so naturally fun and boy can those Lopez' cook. :) I loved getting to know them and starting to feel like part of the family.
Then today (spa day) was incredible. I got to sleep in, get good time in the Word, work out, and meet V at Central Market for lunch. Then we met RussellAnn at the spa. I had never been to a spa before. They give you these big, fluffy, white robes that are somehow lightweight and slippers and send you into the perfectly ambianced dressing room. Then you get to go to the relaxation room. By the time you get to the massage you've been inundated with refreshing and relaxing scents, peacefully serenaded by a waterfall fountain, and placed in awe of God again as you view the overwhelming ocean via the gigantic home theatre system. The massage itself was amazingly relaxing.
Next V and I were off to our small group outreach. We had an ice cream social at Whitley Place, a local retirement home. It was so natural and fun sitting with Winnie, Veragene, and Elsie talking about life, eating ice cream, playing bingo, and singing hymns.
Finally, V and I went to Chapps to eat one of the best burgers I have ever had outside in the perfect weather.
Seriously, can a day get any better? Or a week for that matter? I wonder what tomorrow holds...

camp high

I just got back from 222 and school starts tomorrow. So many thoughts and emotions are racing through my head, I thought it might be a good idea to jot them down before trying to sleep.

List form is going to work best I think.

Emotions:

Sad- Mike can't take social dance with me.

Full- Jesus, this weekend.

Excited- the leadership team in the jr. high this year and all the kids that are going to change the world.

Hopeful- Taking youth to the nations this summer, and hopefully for the rest of my life.

Nervous- School tomorrow. (maybe a little anxious too, which isn't good)

Insecure- this one comes and goes, depending on what I'm thinking about

Safe- Jesus' arms.

Like I said a ridiculous variety.

I just finished watching the new Peter Pan, one thing they say about Tinkerbell is tht she only has room for one emotion at a time because she's so small. Sometimes, I wish that was me, but there's no adventure in that and it could probably be dangerous. :)

Oh, I need to call my sister, her first day of college is tomorrow!

Waco

So I am back in Waco and it has been really fun, watching the olympics, playing sand volleyball, celebrating birthdays, and most of all just being around people I've shared life with. I love my new house and roommates. Although, I'm a little overwhelmed when I think of all I am involved in this next semester I'm learning if I just take one step at a time and trust God, letting Him be my peace, it's not only do-able but enjoyable. :)
Gosh, I'm a senior with a semester to go.... Jesus, I am trusting You, waiting and hoping for whatever You have.

Pride

Bane of my existence and the one thing I wish I could leave totally behind.