Guys, Girls, and God 2

So quite a lot has happened in my life in regards to this whole dating thing.

Two weeks ago I went on a blind date of sorts. I went to coffee with a friend's cousin who is conducting a christian dating research project. He's a great guy, he's never been in a relationship and he's decided to see what all the hubbub is about by going on any date someone sets him up with within the next year and blogging about it. All in all a very interesting concept... I happened to be one of those dates. The experience revealed and confirmed a lot about myself and my views on dating.

I’m not really a date to get to know you person. I like getting to know someone without the weird pressure of a date. I like getting to know someone in a group setting. I like living life with people, seeing how they respond to different pressures or situations and encouraging one another through it whether that be a guy or a girl. When it comes to dating, while I’d love to ascribe to the “get a free meal/ coffee out of the deal,” I’m just not wired that way. I don’t want to invest one on one time or one on one emotional energy unless I really like the guy and I’m pretty sure it’s going somewhere… and it takes a bit for me to get there. In short, I like to be friends first.

Well, this thought opened a can of worms. I realized I wasn't really friends with guys... pretty much because I'm convinced a girl and guy aren't friends unless there is some level of attraction there on one side or the other. It's a lot easier to avoid good friendships with someone of the opposite sex and not have to deal with any of the precarious feelings that spring up than to fight through those in the name of friendship. But I realized if I really did want to get to know someone through friendship first I would have to be their friend.

It all sounds well, good, and perfectly logical but where is the stopping point? Where is the line between friendship and dating if there's interest on both sides? Is it simply a matter of guarding your heart? How much are you responsible for their's? So many questions!

Ultimately, this whole thing is a little more complicated than I thought but I think friendships are worth it. I love what God teaches you about yourself and what He teaches you through the other person. We are made to live in community and to have solid relationships... all of this to say as a single, 23 year old, woman I still have a lot to learn. :)